I once dated a man who neither liked nor understood that I wouldn’t sleep in with him and start our mornings slow. That’s what he enjoyed doing, and he wanted to do it with me. I did it every once in a while, but there was just one problem: I go to the gym in the morning, and nothing and nobody messes with that routine. He wanted me to stop for him, to rearrange my schedule.

Well, I told him no, because I’m not going to sacrifice a routine that works so well for me and makes me feel so amazing.

I’ve always enjoyed exercise in the morning. And when I had kids, I made a point of keeping it going. Two weeks after my son was born, I bought a jogging stroller and loaded him up and went for a brisk walk to see how it felt. And just as I thought, it was glorious. Being a new mom was so trying and one of the things I missed the most was losing myself in thought because I was always thinking about my child. Exercise offers a mental break. And it felt so good to get out of the house and move.

Our daily walks became something I couldn’t go without. And when my daughter was born two years later, the first thing I did was invest in a double stroller. It took us a lot longer to get out the door, and it wasn’t easy, but it was necessary for my mental health and I knew it.

So when I found out I was pregnant with my third — when my second was 7 months old — I had a moment of panic. Pushing two kids around in a stroller was trying, much less three. And honestly, I was tired. So I had to switch things up. I started working out in my living room in half-hour snatches of time while my youngest took his morning nap and my older kids played on the floor next to me.

Yes, there were meltdowns, and crying, and many times when I had to stop what I was doing and tend to them. But the more I stuck to my routine, and the more my kids saw me stick to it, the easier it got.

Of course when they got older, it got a lot easier. I could leave them alone and take some much-needed quiet time and work up a good sweat. My then-husband left really early in the morning for work and wasn’t home until dinner time. It was important to me that that be family time. So I switched it up to the mornings, and I’ve been a morning workout person ever since.

Now, I like to get going when the sun comes up, if not before. It’s a time when I clear my head. I put on my gym clothes, fill up my to-go mug with ice water, and head out the door to do a half hour on the treadmill, then a half hour of weights, before the tasks of the day get in the way and I talk myself out of going. I know myself well enough to know if I don’t workout in the morning, then I’ll never get to it. And exercising helps me focus on being a mom, work, and it gives me energy to keep up with things as a single mother of three.

My kids, friends, and partner know not much comes between me and my workouts. They are my time to decompress, invest in myself, and that I don’t skip them unless there’s an absolute emergency. That will not change because it’s what keeps me being a good mom, friend, and partner. It’s been the most therapeutic and beneficial thing I’ve ever done for myself.

And honestly, it’s a little wild that somebody would think I’d give that up.

It’s a slice of time that’s carved out just for me, and in a world where I do things with and for other people, I need some time to do something just for me. And if I can keep that commitment to myself with three little kids and feel better for it, well, there’s no going back.

Katie lives in Maine with her three kids, two ducks, and a Goldendoodle. When she’s not writing, she’s reading, at the gym, redecorating her home, or spending too much money online.